Joseph’s life has been the main focus of the weekly parsha for the last two weeks. We have followed Joseph's every step from being Jacob’s favorite, getting sold by his brothers, serving Potiphar, his time in prison, and his rise to power in the Egyptian government. Yet until this week, at no point during the story of Joseph’s life are we told anything about how he felt towards his brothers, his family, and all that has happened to him. There must have been some serious emotions going on inside of him: How does a person deal with being sold by his brothers? Whom does he blame? After all, it was his father who sent him to check on his brothers when they conspired against him. Could that be why he hasn’t ever contacted his family now that he is the prime minister of Egypt? We can only imagine how we would feel if we were in the same situation, and honestly, it is doubtful that any of us can measure up to Joseph.
At the end of last week’s parsha, after manipulating his brothers into bringing Benjamin back to Egypt with them, against Jacob’s desire, Joseph frames Benjamin for theft. The brothers are put into a position of needing to defend Benjamin. Joseph gets to see if his brothers are the same people who sold him out 20 years ago, or if they’ve grown. This week’s parsha begins with Judah’s impassioned plea on behalf of Benjamin. Judah pleads with Joseph to allow him to take the place of Benjamin as a slave to Pharaoh on the basis that he won’t be able to face his father if he doesn’t bring Benjamin back. Judah explains all that his father, Jacob, has gone through, how he had lost his other favorite son, and how it would kill Jacob to lose Benjamin because, “Their souls are bound together.”
It is in response to this plea on behalf of their father that we finally get a glimpse into the emotional life of Joseph. After hearing how much Judah cares about his father and is concerned about his father if the brothers do not take care of their brother Benjamin, Joseph commands everyone who is in the room with him and his brothers to leave, he wails so loudly that it could be heard throughout Egypt, and he says to his brothers, “I am Joseph, is my father still alive?”
He knows that his father is still alive, since his brothers first came to him they have spoken about their father, and Judah just gave a speech about how losing Benjamin would kill his father. What I think Joseph is saying to them is: "I’m Joseph who you sold into slavery and allowed our father to believe I had been trampled by a wild animal. Why didn’t you care about upsetting our father back then!?!?!" There must have been anger and accusation in that emotional outburst; who could blame him? His brothers certainly couldn’t blame him; they were speechless and afraid after Joseph revealed himself. But the greatness of Joseph was that he didn’t hold onto this negative feeling. Immediately after seeing his brothers become paralyzed with fear, he asks them again to come close to him and says, “I am Joseph your brother.” He is assuring them that despite all they did, despite part of his own feelings of anger and betrayal, he is still their brother.
It is Joseph’s rationale that is most impressive. Joseph chooses to not hold onto his anger because he chooses to see the hand of God in all that happened to him. He tells his brothers: “Do not be distressed or reproach yourselves…it was to save life that God sent me ahead of you…it was not you who sent me here, but God.” Joseph doesn’t blame his brothers or hold a grudge. Because he must have believed all along that there is a reason for everything, he sees what happened to him as the will of God. It is only twenty years later that he sees the reason for it. Had he given up the belief long ago that there was a reason for what happened to him, it is doubtful that he would have been able to see the reason for it now. Had he been holding onto his negative feelings and letting them fester inside of him for twenty years, it’s hard to believe he’d be able to feel anything but hatred towards his brothers.. Joseph isn’t above human emotion; his initial outburst was motivated by strong emotions, and the Torah even says right before he reveals himself, “Joseph was no longer able to restrain himself.” But he didn’t let his motions control him; by sheer willpower he was able to overcome negative emotions and pave the way for reconciliation.
The lesson for us is that if Joseph was able to let go of his negative emotions, not hold a grudge, choose to believe that things happen for a reason, and see the hand of God in all that happened to him, then we should be able to as well. Holding negative feelings inside of you can eat away at you inside and make you lose control of your emotions; we should take Joseph’s example and not allow our emotions to be controlled by those that have done wrong to us in the past.
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