Weekly Torah Portion: Tazria-Metzorah

In this week’s Parsha, Parshat Tazria/Metzorah, we are taught about tzara’at, a spiritual sickness which had physical symptoms.  If a person would get a certain type of blemish, they would be taken to the priest for a diagnosis.  The verse (13:2) makes a point of saying that they were taken, and the Ibn Ezra (Medieval Torah commentator) points out that the person was taken to the Priest even against his or her own will. 

The afflicted person was taken to the Priest and not to a doctor, because the cause of the disease was spiritual in nature, not physical.  The diagnosis therefore needed to reflect the spiritual fault, rather than physical manifestation of the disease.  Our tradition teaches us that this disease was usually a punishment for interpersonal misconduct, and speaking negatively about other people.
This type of behavior is one of the most difficult to avoid, it is hard to refrain from speaking about people in general, and it is even harder to resist listening to gossip when it is being spoken around us.  We are often tempted to believe that just speaking about someone is not harmful at all.  We tell ourselves, that we’re not actually doing anything wrong because the action is done through speech, there is nothing tangible, we don’t see how it is harmful.
The laws of tzara’at teach us that everything we do has an effect, even if we don’t see it.  Furthermore, sometimes the way in which we treat others is offensive to the people around us.  No one trusts a person who is known to be a gossip.  The way in which gossiping affects our relationships is reflected in the laws of tzara’at as well.  We may be oblivious to how the way in which we treat others is reflected in our personalities, but other people are not.  Therefore, even if the person who had been afflicted with tzara’at would not go to the priest for a diagnosis on their own, other people had the right to force them to go against their will.
No one likes being around such extreme negativity, but unfortunately the people who are being the negative force in the community are not always aware of what they are doing, so it becomes a communal obligation to fix the problem.  It is difficult to correct a person’s behavior without offending them, but if we are at least aware that there is a problem and that it shouldn’t just be ignored, then we can think of ways to make the situation better.  For instance, we can use this teaching to reflect on how we are being a negative influence on others and fix the problem ourselves, without having to be told by someone else.  Or we can try to gently move conversations in a more positive and productive direction when a social interaction devolves into gossiping.  But one thing we should not do is delude ourselves into thinking that this type of negative behavior is not going to have a negative effect on us and on our community.  

Weekly Torah Portion: Shemini

This week’s Parsha, Shemini, begins by describing the 8^th and final day of the consecration of the Mishkan (Tabernacle) for use in the desert.  For the first 7 days, Moses did all of the services himself, and on the 8^th day his brother Aaron took over from him, bringing the sacrifices and blessing the people.

This was an extremely joyous event.  The people had not felt as close to God as they did at this point in time since receiving the Torah on Mt. Sinai.  But the happiness of the moment was spoiled by death of Aaron’s two eldest sons.  After Moses and Aaron finished the service commanded to them by God, Aaron’s two eldest sons, Nadav and Avihu, decided on their own to enter in the Holy of Holies and bring an incense offering.  This unsanctioned act of worship led to their deaths. 

The Midrash quotes a verse from Psalms (75:5), “say to the boastful, don’t boast,” and then gives a list of examples of different characters in the bible of people who had a lot to be happy about, but who also experienced sadness in the lives.  The sentiment conveyed in this midrash is that even when things in your life are working out, don’t boast about it.  Even some of our greatest heroes have had moments of great happiness, but they also all have had sorrow too.  Having ups and downs is a part of life; everyone has their good moments, and everyone has bad moments.   The first example that the midrash uses to make its point is God.  God, the Midrash tells us, was incredibly happy when he created the world and mankind, yet he was very distressed when man brought the world down by sinning.  Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob all had immense blessings and so much happiness in their lives, and yet there was sadness and grief in their lives as well.  Skipping a few examples, we get to the example which makes this Midrash relevant to our Parsha. 

“Elisheva, the daughter of Aminadav was the wife of Aaron the high priest.  See how much happiness she had in her hands; her husband was the high priest; her brother in law, Moses was a king and a prophet; her sons were the assistant priests;  her brother, Nachshon, was the leader of the tribe of Judah.  Nevertheless, she had unbelievable sadness in her life when her sons went to bring their offering and were devoured by the flames of God.   Therefore the wise one says, ‘tell the boastful not to boast’.”

The message about not boasting impresses upon us the sobering reality of life.  We are given the feeling that when we are happy at the way things are going in our lives, we should not brag, because it’s just a part of life.  Especially when looked at in comparison of the greatness and blessing experienced by the heroes in the midrash, our reasons to boast are far less in comparison.  Additionally, if we think that we’re so great because things, thank God, are currently working out for us, the Midrash reminds us not to get too carried away;  There is no life that doesn’t have some sadness. 
But, in addition to this sobering lesson, if you look between the lines of what this Midrash is saying, there is an important, hopeful, message here as well.  It can be depressing to see other people’s lives and assume that they are more happy than we are because they have so much more to be happy about.  The Midrash is reminding us that all happiness is relative, no one is going to have only good things happen to them, and similarly no one in the world will only have bad things happen to them.  With this depiction of the way the world works, we can take comfort in the fact that we are never completely alone alone. 

Sometimes when we are going through things in our lives that make us feel depressed, we also might feel that no one can understand what we’re going through; that we’re alone.  This Midrash is pointing out that everyone in life, even our greatest heroes, have great moments but also have dark moments as well.  Experiencing ups and downs in life is universal. 

When we seclude ourselves, and cut ourselves off from other people, we limit our ability to see the complexity of other people’s lives.  On the surface, most people seem pretty happy most of the time.  So for the person who is struggling, if they cannot see beyond a surface judgement of the lives of the people around them, they will feel very alienated.  But when you get deeper glimpse into other people’s lives, you start to see the full spectrum of their experiences, both good and bad.  For the person who is struggling, the lesson is, push yourself to reach out for support.  Hopefully you will learn through the process of being supported that people care about you and that you’re never totally alone.  But doing this is a serious challenge to the person who is already struggling and is already feeling alienated.  Therefore the lesson for everyone is that we don’t always know what is going in the inner lives of the people around us; we don’t always know who is suffering.  With that realization we can train ourselves to be more sensitive to the people around us and more accessible as a means of support to someone in our community.   

Pesach Dvar Torah

In the Haggadah we read about the 4 sons.  The Haggadah discusses the types of questions that each son will ask, and instructs us on how to respond to each of them.  One of the striking things in this section is that the questions of the wise and wicked sons are not all that dissimilar.  Nevertheless, one is considered wise and the other wicked, and the way in which the Haggadah instructs us to respond to each of them is extremely different.
The wise son’s question is: “What are the testimonies and the statutes and the laws that Hashem, our God, has commanded you?”
The wicked son’s question is: “What is this service to you?”
You’ll notice that both sons say, “to you,” and both are asking about what is going on.  In response to the wise son, the Haggadah tells us to reply to his question by teaching him the laws of Pesach and how nothing should be eaten after eating the Paschal offering (or the afikoman which takes its place in the absence of the temple).
But in response to the wicked son the Haggadah tells us to be very harsh. Saying, “when he says “to you,” he is implying “to you,” but not “to him”! because he excludes himself from the rest of the community he has denied a fundamental principle.  You, in turn, should set his teeth on edge and tell him, ‘Because of this Hashem did for me when I left Egypt’ – implying ‘for me,’ but not ‘for him’!  If he had been there he would not have been redeemed.”
Why does the Haggadah tell us to respond so harshly to the wicked son’s use of the phrase, “for you,” and ignore the fact that wise son said the same thing?  What is there to learn about the entire for Seder experience from the vastly different responses for these two sons?
One possible explanation is that the difference between the two sons is in the tone of what they say rather than the content.  The wise son really wants to know and he wants to learn.  He points out that he notices that there are details, “testimonies, statutes, and laws…” and he is willing to go through the trouble and invest the time so that he can know and understand.  The wicked son, however, just says, “this service.”  He’s not interested in learning about the details, he dismisses the nuances, his tone is cynical.  He isn’t interested in learning.  He sees all the same things that the wise son sees, yet he clumps it all together in a dismissing way and is really asking a rhetorical question.  It’s like he’s saying, “why do bother with all of this stuff?”  He isn’t really looking for an answer, because his feelings are that “this service” is really meaningless, it’s a lot of irrelevant ancient practices.
Once we understand the difference in their questions we can understand the way that we are supposed to respond to them.  Since the wise son wants to learn, we respond by teaching him Torah.  The experience of teaching him Torah should leave a lingering taste and love of Torah in his mouth.  This is hinted to in the last line of the response to the wise son which says that we teach him that nothing should be eaten after the Paschal lamb.  Just as the taste of the Paschal lamb should linger in one’s mouth after eating it, the Torah should linger in the mouths of those who love Torah.  When a Jew has this type of love for Torah, this connection helps him through any of the troubles that he or she might experience in life.
By contrast, the wicked son is not interested in learning, he has already rejected the tradition in his mind.  There is no point in engaging him intellectually because he is looking to reject rather than to learn.  The wicked son does not have the Torah to hold on to when things are tough.  He can’t rely on the Torah to give him hope in times of trouble.  
The goal of the seder is to tell the story of Passover- to make sure every Jew knows that we were once slaves who had no hope of salvation, but God saved us.  From this experience, we learn that in every generation the Jewish people face trials and tribulations, but God will always save us.  The seder teaches us that ever since being freed from bondage in Egypt, the heritage of the Jewish people is to always have hope regardless of the situation.  The experience of Jewish history teaches us to have hope, teaching this perspective to our children is the goal of the Seder.  This is why we tell the wicked son, “if you don’t change your attitude about learning then you would not have been saved from Egypt.”  What we’re really saying is that your attitude will not give you the hope that you, as a Jew, will need to survive.  Without hope, you’ll despair and never be able to feel free.